Sep 2, 2023 | Advocacy, Community, Family, FMLA, Grief, Parent
A Grieving Parent Turns Pain into a Purpose
Following the death of his teenaged son, Blake, Tom Barklage fought to secure bereavement leave for Johnson & Johnson employees around the world
By Maddie Cohen
After his son Blake died, Tom Barklage took time off to make space for his grief. Little did he know the loss would result in a push to expand his employer’s bereavement care. Today, the high-level manager has made it his mission to change lives for the better.
Grief alters the course of a parent’s life
The death of a child changes a person—and Tom remembers October 30, 2021, like it was yesterday. His son, then 17, was attending an evening gathering with friends when he lost consciousness. A short time later, he died in the hospital of an unknown heart issue: lymphocytic myocarditis.
Tom, his wife Alison, and their daughter Alexis were devastated. Yet Johnson & Johnson (J&J), where Tom has worked for almost 20 years, stepped up to the plate. The company president held a moment of silence in Blake’s honor at an immunology town hall, and Tom’s boss was gracious about his leave. Months later, J&J gave Tom an additional day off on April 7—Blake’s birthday and the day they buried his ashes—and catered a meal for the Barklages and their guests.
Yet Tom struggled. His employer’s official bereavement policy was just five days. And while the pharmaceutical expert could leverage flex days or “take a knee,” those moments his grief became too much, there was little time to process the complexity of his loss.
Not only that, but Tom realized others might not have the same accommodations. Not everyone at J&J had 18 years’ tenure or the flexibility of working in the field.
A push for flexible bereavement care
Tom set out to change J&J’s bereavement policy. He was determined to honor Blake’s legacy and respectfully challenge the status quo.
The process was far from simple—but Tom had to start somewhere. He began by sharing his thoughts with his boss, and then reaching out to J&J’s Vice President of Human Resources. The goal was to bring awareness to the cause. And while Tom’s advocacy sparked discussion, it wasn’t so straightforward. J&J was in the midst of global change, and some stakeholders thought it best to wait a year.
Plus, Tom was still grieving.
Company leaders were skeptical, but the key account manager reassured them. He explained that he was absolutely in his right mind, and that his advocacy was a matter of great importance.
“It helps to have something to fight for,” he explained.
Now, Tom isn’t advocating for a specific number of days off. He is simply promoting a more flexible bereavement policy—for everyone.
Because parents deserve it. And because, in Tom’s words, Blake had a remarkable ability to use the past to make an even brighter tomorrow.
“That’s why it’s so important for me to give back,” Tom says. “I know that if this bereavement policy goes through, the day that I retire from J&J, I can sit there and say, ‘Blake, we did it.’”
On August 1st, Johnson & Johnson released this statement: We all need to step away from work sometimes, and taking time to heal from the loss of a loved one shouldn’t be an additional worry. As part of our newly-expanded global paid leave offerings, every employee around the globe has access to up to 30 days of dedicated paid leave time for bereavement. Learn about all the ways we offer flexibility to enable everyone on our team to succeed at work while also balancing personal and family needs.
J&J Employee Benefits
Honoring Blake Barklage’s legacy
In 2022, the Barklage family started the Blake Barklage Foundation, also known as Blake Gives Back. The nonprofit supports charitable initiatives focused on intellectual disabilities, education, organ donation, and the prevention of cardiac arrest in children and young adults.
Readers can learn more about Blake’s life and legacy by visiting the links below:
Read the heartfelt letter Tom Barklage sent to Johnson & Johnson.
My name is Tom Barklage and I am a J&J employee of 17 years. I’ve valued the culture at J&J as an employee given the priorities its maintained in support of families and patients worldwide for decades. This email is not easy one to write. Last month, on October 30th, my 17-year-old son Blake suddenly passed away from an undetected heart issue. As a parent, this is the hardest thing my wife and I have ever dealt with. I lost my father a year ago and one of my brothers passed away 10 years ago. Losing my dad and brother was tough, but losing my son is gut wrenching. As I write this, I am struggling to see the keyboard through my tears, but I will get through this.
The company policy of 5 condolence days is a policy I am having a difficult time understanding. As you can imagine, when an employee has the unfortunate experience of losing a child, spouse, partner, etc. the ability to
return to work and be productive is almost if not entirely impossible with only 5 days to recover. Grieving the loss of a child is crushing and deeply personal.
I received the recent J&J employee announcement about the new parental leave providing employees paid leave from 8 weeks to 12 weeks. That is great news!! Wonderful policies like this are one of the reasons I love working at J&J! In the Communication it stated that “J&J has a long history of supporting family health because we believe that advancing health for humanity starts at home.” I agree with that 100%!!
The reason paternity leaves are expanding is because someone raised this as an issue to be re-evaluated. Someone had an experience that wasn’t equitable. It started with a conversation and gained momentum from there. That is what I am trying to do. The loss of a child or close loved one is a monumental event that meets or exceeds the emotional/physical needs of a parent/spouse at the time of a birth. I was blessed to be at the birth of my son Blake and daughter Alexis. Losing Blake is so much harder and difficult to deal with. Please do not take this the wrong way. I am not trying to make it about me. My management team whom I work for have been very accommodating!! The support I received from my Janssen family has been phenomenal.
I went back and forth debating if I should send this note to you. I don’t want to come across as being disrespectful or ungrateful towards J&J. J&J has provided my family and I with opportunities that we are blessed to have. I am so happy to be part of the J&J family. But I know my son Blake, he would want me to raise this concern and ask to consider changing the policy to allow for more time for employees to work through their grief process. As I said earlier, it is not just about me. It’s about the other J&J employees too who have suffered loss and are still committed to their jobs and the purpose they find in their work. Our credo states, “We must support the health and well-being of our employees and help them fulfill their family and other personal responsibilities.” I understand that a change like this can’t happen without gaining as much information as possible and ensuring a diverse set of opinions are gained. I would like to be the catalyst for this change and happy to speak to you. Will you and your leadership team consider re-evaluating our company policy on condolence leave? If you would like to meet in person or connect via Zoom, please know that I would welcome that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Tom Barklage
Janssen Immunology
Senior Key Account Manager
Apr 5, 2023 | Family, Federal Government, FMLA, Grief
By Prerna Shah
When a loved one dies, many family members seek bereavement leave to attend to family affairs, their grief, and sort through the many changes that invisibly unfold behind closed doors. It may be surprising to learn that most employees have no legal right to take leave, except in five states in America (learn more about state bereavement laws here).
The Family Medical Leave Act, also known as FMLA, provides job and benefits protection for 56 percent of the United States workforce; however, bereavement is not an eligible condition for job or wage protection. Many may be surprised to learn that newly bereaved families have no legal right to take leave to cope with the death of a loved one.
So, what is a newly bereaved family member to do?
In honor of National Employee Benefits Day, Evermore sat down with Jeff Nowak, an FMLA expert, who provides legal strategies and solutions for employers of all sizes across the globe, for an in-depth conversation on all aspects of FMLA.
1) What is the FMLA?
FMLA is a federal law that provides up to 12 weeks of leave to an eligible employee in a 12-month period. There are a number of reasons why you may be eligible for FMLA job protection, including
- An employee’s own serious health condition,
- the employee has to care for a family member with a serious health condition, or
- due to pregnancy,
- bonding time after childbirth or adoption, or placement into foster care, and
- a qualifying need due to the active duty of a spouse, child, or parent.
While FMLA generally covers all public-sector employers, it also extends coverage to private employers that have 50 or more employees in a 75-mile radius. In general, to be eligible, an employee must have worked for at least 1,250 hours over the previous 12 months.
2) Does FMLA offer bereavement leave?
No, generally, FMLA does not specifically provide bereavement leave; however, Department of Labor statements and legislative history indicate a miscarriage is classified as a “serious health condition.” As a result, both miscarriage and stillbirth — two conditions before independent life begins — should be eligible for FMLA bereavement leave if the birthing person is unable to work because of her own “serious health condition” (e.g., physical recovery from miscarriage and/or labor and delivery, emotional distress). Paternal coverage may be extended if the spouse is caring for a loved one with a serious health condition.
For most bereaved families, however, bereavement is not an eligible event for FMLA job or wage protection.
Novak shares, “Oftentimes, employers have their own bereavement leave policies. Generally, these policies cover one to three days of bereavement leave, but that is not enough for most people. FMLA can be invoked to cover bereavement leave if the employee has a serious health condition like depression or anxiety, but you would need to invoke the ‘serious health condition.’”
3) How can you best communicate with your employer after a loss?
Communication is key.
According to Novak, “It’s so critical that the employee simply communicates upfront. Be candid with your employer. I’m hurting right now. This is a really difficult time for me, I can’t keep my attention on my work when I’m dealing with this loss in my life.”
“Some of us are fearful of that, right? We’re fearful of what the employer may do. We are in fear of losing our job as a result. But it’s important to characterize what you’re dealing with; if you need to start using words like, “My mental health is at issue here, or I just need to leave for my own mental health.” I tell employers that that line alone triggers an FMLA obligation. Now we potentially are in an FMLA-protected situation.”
Novak suggests that it’s beneficial to involve the HR team: “It’s important to be in full communication with the HR team. Look at your FMLA policy and find out, who does your employer want you to communicate with?”
Candid and open communication with the employer can make a difference; however, only share what you feel comfortable with. When the employer understands that coping is inducing mental distress, that’s when FMLA may be triggered, and this affords the employee job-protected leave.
4) What compensation is offered through the FMLA?
Leave associated with FMLA is unpaid.
When someone close to us dies, families often incur unexpected costs like funeral expenses, moving property or estate titles, among others. Novak shares, “By its very nature, federal FMLA is unpaid. And that remains (so) today. And I would say for the foreseeable future, federal FMLA is going to be unpaid.”
Nowak adds, “As a result of Congress being unable or unwilling to pass a paid leave law at the federal level, we’ve seen quite a bit of growth at the state and local level when it comes to paid FMLA leave.”
If you are able to take bereavement leave, it’s important to keep in mind that employers have no legal obligation to pay the employer during their leave.
Nowak notes that while a handful of states have passed their own FMLA laws, others have passed paid FMLA laws and others have provisions for paid sick leave (learn more about state bereavement laws here).
Nowak says, “It’s likely that we may see a paid leave law that involves contributions from either the employer or the employee or both sharing (contributions) that provide the funding for paid leave.”
5) Where can I find out more information?
For more in-depth coverage of our session with Jeff Nowak, you can head to our YouTube channel, and don’t forget to subscribe while you are checking our videos. We regularly update our channel with resources from experts working in the area of grief and bereavement, and our ‘In the Know’ sessions are very popular and informative.
On our website, you will also find many relevant and expert-led resources on FMLA – miscarriage and stillbirth, state laws and legislation related to bereavement leave, U.S. military bereavement leave guidance, general information on grief, how community leaders can help, our national grief support directory, books on grief for adults and children, our most recent achievements in advancing in bereavement care, and more.
Please also help spread the word about FMLA and bereavement leave, have these conversations with your colleagues and coworkers on this National Employee Benefits Day.
Oct 4, 2022 | Advocacy, Data Collection, Family, FMLA, Research
As many as half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even though 87 percent of women have experienced a miscarriage while employed, an alarming number of women aren’t aware that the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) allows for time off from work after a miscarriage and stillbirth.
These were the findings from a survey conducted by InHerSight in partnership with Evermore. InHerSight uses data to help women find employers and companies that support women’s goals and needs. This survey, conducted earlier this year, included 1,300 women, with the goal of assessing their awareness of their right to time off work under FMLA after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth.
Survey results were striking, with 77 percent of respondents indicating they were unaware they had access to this protection. Sixty-six percent of these women reported that they hadn’t been informed by their employer of their legal rights regarding leave under FMLA, which guarantees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave if the employee is unable to work because of his or her own “serious health condition.”
While miscarriage and stillbirth are not specifically included in the definition of “serious health condition” in FMLA, Department of Labor statements and other legislative documents indicate miscarriage is covered by the policy. A woman whose pregnancy ends in miscarriage should be able to use FMLA leave if she’s unable to work due to physical recovery or emotional distress.
Even so, 91 percent of women who have experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth while employed reported taking no days off work to recover. Ninety-eight percent of the women surveyed reported not filing for leave under FMLA after experiencing a miscarriage or stillbirth. [Read more about InHerSight’s findings here.]
“Knowing federal leave benefits should not be the responsibility of a newly grieving woman or family. Employers have a tremendous opportunity to provide a supportive workplace environment by ensuring that women are aware of their rights.”
As Evermore seeks to learn more about the realities of bereavement in the United States, and the impact of those realities, partners like InHerSight play a crucial role in gathering data and identifying areas in need of policy change and community support. Evermore partnered with InHerSight for this survey because of the company’s dedication to women employees and their benefits and well-being in the workplace.
“Partners like InHerSight are critical in facilitating transformational social policy,” Mulheron says. “Bereavement is ubiquitous. Understanding the impact, collecting data on the family’s perspective, and then shining a spotlight on those experiences requires leadership. We are grateful to InHerSight and others who are advancing bereavement care in America.”
The findings from this survey indicate how important it is for workplaces to provide effective education and communication that cultivates a supportive environment for employees experiencing bereavement. At Evermore, we believe it is crucial that employers take greater initiative to inform their employees of the benefits and protections available to them.
Benefits should be communicated through employee handbooks, during onboarding and orientation trainings, and throughout the duration of a worker’s employment. When the time comes for employees to exercise their benefits, employers should be prepared to guide them through the process and direct them to human resources (HR) for further assistance.
Employers must also work hard to create a culture in which people can bring personal and emotionally challenging issues to their directors, managers, and HR personnel. To further support an inclusive workplace culture, Evermore also recommends that employers institute five days of paid bereavement leave for all employees.
“According to the Department of Labor, only 56 percent of America’s workforce qualifies for FMLA benefits,” Mulheron says. “That leaves millions of women working in the gig economy, in small employers, or as solopreneurs who have no benefit at all.”
In 2021, Senator Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) and Congresswoman Ayanna Pressley (D-MA) introduced legislation that aims to raise awareness about pregnancy loss and provide paid leave benefits for workers experiencing the pain of a miscarriage or stillbirth. The Support Through Loss Act supports bereaved workers by increasing access to workplace supports and access to resources and adequate care.
“Pregnancy loss should be met with care, compassion, and support. It is a common experience, but many struggle in silence due to the lack of awareness and cultural stigma,” says Pressley in a press release detailing the legislation. “Our bill sends a message to families that they are not alone.”
It is also imperative that employees know how to advocate for themselves in order to access the benefits available to them. If you are unaware of the benefits at your workplace, ask your manager or an HR representative to guide you through company policy. Evermore encourages readers to communicate their knowledge with coworkers, improve awareness in the workplace, and work together to create a workplace where benefits are a continuous topic of conversation.
May 13, 2021 | Advocacy, FMLA
Tell Congress To Protect Jobs for Newly Bereaved Families
Imagine how many families have lost a loved one in the past year. Our nation’s collective grief is inescapable and it has impacted all of us.
Today, there are no federal legal protections for newly bereaved families except for narrow exceptions. Congress must act! Workers can lose a loved one and then their job, all in a day’s time. While most employers do whatever they can to be supportive, some do not and none are legally bound to do so. There are employees who lose their jobs on the heels of losing their loved one.
Tell Congress to protect the jobs of the newly bereaved.
Evermore, along with more than 100 organizations, encouraged The White House to include bereavement leave in the American Families Plan. President Biden heard our calls and included bereavement protections for the newly bereaved, for the first time in our nation’s history!
Now, those employment protections are being considered by Congress. To ensure those protections become law, please make two calls today to ask for the passage this important bereavement leave legislation.
For every one call Congress receives, lawmakers believe that it accounts for 100 voters.
Now, imagine…ten people make calls or one hundred or one thousand…We can make this change. We can protect the jobs of the newly bereaved. We can do this together.
We ask that you call the two Congressional lawmakers, U.S. Senator Patty Murray and U.S. Representative Bobby Scott, and tell them to pass bereavement leave protections for workers now.
Call U.S. Senator Murray 202-224-5375
Call U.S. Representative Scott at 202-225-8351
Mar 16, 2020 | FMLA, Appropriations
For too long, too many have considered bereavement as simply a mental health issue. When a family member or loved one dies, those grieving experience a deep sadness as their lives are changed fundamentally forever. Conventional wisdom tells us a bereaved individual or family will eventually “get over it,” “find closure” and “move on.” But, those commonly held myths are far from the truth.
Research continues to show that a loved one’s death isn’t something that we just “come to terms” with. Researchers tell us that bereavement grief makes us more prone to cognitive decline, disease and premature death. It can lead to financial loss. And it can tear families apart.
What’s more, federal policies and programs can compound the experience, further victimizing mourning Americans who need more than our thoughts, prayers and casseroles.
For example, of the two million bereaved children in the United States, Social Security Income is not reaching all children leaving those in need with lower levels of economic wellbeing and educational attainment. Or, for example, two fathers Barry Kluger and Kelly Farley have advocated for nearly a decade to protect newly bereaved parents from being fired from their jobs. Imagine losing your child, then your job.
Over the last three weeks, Evermore has been calling Congressional offices, meeting with staff and sending materials to dozens of staffers. And here’s the good news: Capitol Hill is listening, and lawmakers are beginning to understand that bereavement isn’t just a mental health issue, but an issue — and an American issue — that demands serious attention. The question is: will they act?
As deaths from suicide, overdoses and mass casualty events increase, members see how bereavement and the lack of a public health response is impacting their own communities. These discussions come as lawmakers consider appropriations bills and updates to the Family and Medical Leave Act, which currently does not provide time off for workers after a child’s death.
Here’s where Evermore is making big strides in bereavement care.
Appropriations committees address bereavement
In appropriations committees in both the House and Senate, spending bill proposals recommend that the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services seek information from its agencies about their bereavement care activities. Those agencies include the National Institutes of Health, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, for example.
According to the proposal, the agencies would be tasked with examining their own activities to advance bereavement care for families, including risk factors for survivors and whether policies and programs in place help or hinder coping and processing. Agencies would also be charged with documenting what resources they are providing to the professional community as well.
If approved, it would be the first time the agencies have studied how they address the bereaved and could pave the way for future spending bills that fund new efforts to support those who are grieving.
FMLA expansion could come
Congress hasn’t built upon the Family and Medical Leave Act since it was passed in 1993, and that’s led to many workers not having the right to take unpaid leave or unable to afford unpaid leave when it is available. For many grieving parents, in particular, the law doesn’t carve out an opportunity for them to take time off without fear of losing their job.
But that may be about to change. In February, the House Education and Labor Subcommittee on Workforce Protections held a hearing to talk about FMLA expansion, including bereavement care. In her opening remarks, Rep. Alma Adams, a Democrat from North Carolina, talked about the number of cases where the act does not cover workers who need to take leave, specifically calling out “family members taking time to grieve a child’s death.”
Research continues to show that the death of a child is one of the most severe and prolonged trauma that anyone can experience, which is why it is critical for Congress to recognize child death as an eligible event for FMLA job protection.
Evermore is having an impact here too. We submitted a statement for the record on the importance of including a child death as an eligible event for FMLA.
Our request is three-pronged.
- We want the U.S. Department of Labor to conduct a survey on bereavement leave for all employers with more than 50 employees.
- We’d like the FMLA to be expanded to include a child’s death as an eligible event, so parents have time to mourn.
- And we’re asking Congress to increase the age of a child to 26 in the law to make it parallel with the Affordable Care Act and tax law.
“As a modern society, we should no longer have to slog through death alone with few resources,” Mulheron said. “We can reimagine a tomorrow where people have the support they need in their own communities — whether urban or frontier America — and where professionals have robust supports, resources and benefits to move this work forward.”
Added Mulheron: “There’s still plenty of work to do, but this is a shared human experience, and people know that. We’re thrilled that offices are listening.”
