Jul 16, 2024 | Community
Cherokee Nation Art Classes and Art Show in Tahlequah, Oklahoma
In 2022, Evermore recognized the alarming trends in childhood bereavement and had to act. After partnering with Penn State and the University of Southern California to release America’s Forgotten Orphans, the nation’s first report documenting a 20-year rise in the experience of parental death across every race and ethnicity, and every state. We found an alarming statistic: Indigenous children have experienced parental loss at a higher rate than every other racial or ethnic group — 2.2 times the national rate.
Following the release of that report, Evermore provided a microgrant serving the Cherokee Nation to provide space for coping and creation. Over six weeks, Cherokee Tribal Employment Rights Office (TERO) artist Dena Coleman, a local art teacher, led students in reading “We Are Grateful,” a picture book by Cherokee poet and author Traci Sorell. Each student received a free copy, and Coleman worked with them to react and process their emotions through art, a practice she’s developed by working in local schools.
The students then had the opportunity to display their work at the Tahlequah Art Show at Coleman’s local studio, Dena’s Art Den, and all went home with gift bags of candy, snacks, and art supplies. Local singer-songwriter Steve Fisher accompanied the festivities, and Cherokee TERO artist and author Molly Brewer selected a handful of drawings to appear on a set of Evermore notecards that are now for sale for a limited time. Brewer, an artist, writer, and motion content producer, has received commissions for portraits and murals, and her work appears in the National Cherokee History Museum.
The drawings by the Tahlequah elementary schoolers — who were excited to see their own creations featured in an art exhibition — carry the charm inherent in all children’s artwork and are full of love and respect for the natural world: Fifth-grader Greyson’s aptly named drawing “Bison” shows an impressively detailed rendering of the animal crossing a stream; Kase, a first-grader, draws flourishing crops and livestock under a sunny sky in “I Am Grateful for Food,” showing a knowledge of food systems that rivals that of many adults. One student who participated, Lydia, reflected on the experience Coleman led, saying that it made her “feel like I am a part of my community.”
Jun 19, 2024 | Advocacy, Federal Government
Got Questions? National Call to Discuss the U.S. Government’s First Report on Grief & Bereavement
We’re Here to Answer Your Questions:
Join Us!
]In May, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ), a little-known government agency, released its draft report, “Interventions to Improve Care of Bereaved People.” This is the U.S. government’s first report on grief and bereavement, and AHRQ is accepting public comments until Friday, June 28, 2024.
- You can submit your comments via this link.
- Additional context for the report can be found here.
If you have questions, consider joining Evermore’s national call this Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern Time.
Reviewers found that “important gaps in our knowledge of various aspects of bereavement care” remain. This report is a first step toward advancing bereavement care for all bereaved people, but a lot more work needs to be done.
Your voice, questions, and concerns are important. Please consider submitting them today.
May 14, 2024 | Advocacy, Community, Grief
Advancing Bereavement Leave for All Students in Higher Education
Each year, over 4 million students in higher education
are socially and academically impacted by bereavement
Losing a loved one at any juncture can alter the course of a life; navigating grief is a fraught and difficult process in the best of times. But for students in higher education—from trade schools to elite universities—it can be particularly overwhelming and cause them to abandon their studies.
According to some experts, nearly a third of college students who lose a friend or loved one while enrolled in higher education will fail to obtain their degree.
Douglas with his family.
Beyond the emotional ramifications, failing to get a degree has lifelong effects, and many grief experts argue that institutions should offer students bereavement leave and grief support. Sydney Rains and Red Douglas were two students who would have benefited from bereavement leave and grief support: Both lost their fathers when they were undergraduates, and now they are working to ensure future generations of students receive the critical support they did not.
Collaborating with Evermore and members from public and private institutions from across the country, Rains and Douglas are leading Evermore’s Higher Education Leave Policy (HELP) campaign. Their goal is to bring awareness that students, from trade schools to universities, are being severely impacted by grief and more can be done to support them.
Rains with her father.
Rains was finishing up her junior year at Gonzaga University when her father died, and she struggled to complete assignments when she returned to school. Amidst her grief, she successfully led a student-specific bereavement policy campaign at Gonzaga, and she’s now working with the Evermore HELP campaign to advise colleges interested in implementing similar plans at their own institutions.
The HELP campaign was developed after Dr. Heather Servaty-Seib, who played a critical role in establishing the Grief Absence Policy for Students (GAPS) for students at Purdue University in 2011, connected Douglas with Evermore. He’s a Ph.D. candidate at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan, studying ways higher education administrators can provide support for bereaved students, and said he was “frequently citing Servaty-Seib’s findings… so I reached out and she quickly replied, connecting me with Evermore,” Douglas said. Evermore “embraced my work and proposed the idea of developing a nexus for higher education professionals advocating for students on this topic.”
Douglas’ dad reading the sports page, which includes Red’s statistics.
One of the primary issues facing advocates and experts creating these policies is a straightforward data question. According to research conducted by various scholars over the past two decades, the prevalence of grief among higher education students is dramatically underestimated. Reports indicate that 20 to 35% of undergraduate students are within 12 months of losing a loved one; upwards of 40% are within two years of a significant loss.
Despite this reality, as of 2019 only 44 institutions of higher education in the United States had student-specific bereavement policies. Sevaty-Seib argues this is surprising when considering such policies exist at the K-12 level, and are also extended as workplace benefits to faculty, staff, and administrators at most colleges and universities.
Such policies address the risks that are specific to students in higher education, which boil down to these major factors:
Disruption of Academic Performance
The death of a loved one can significantly disrupt a college student’s academic performance. Grieving individuals may struggle to concentrate, meet deadlines, or attend classes regularly. Symptoms can manifest as lethargy, changes in appetite, insomnia, loss of interest in hobbies, and social isolation, all of which negatively impact grades and may result in dropping out. It’s essential for students to communicate with professors and academic advisors about their situation to explore possible accommodations and support systems.
Emotional Turmoil
Grief is a complex and intense emotional experience. Students mourning the loss of a loved one may feel overwhelmed by a range of emotions, including sadness, jealousy, anger, guilt, and confusion. These emotions can affect every aspect of their lives, from relationships with friends and family to their sense of self and purpose. Douglas said that felt “a strange jealousy toward my friends who still had both parents.” Seeking support from campus counseling services, support groups, or trusted individuals can provide a safe space to express and process these emotions.
Social Isolation
While research indicates social support is key, in the midst of grief, students often withdraw from social activities and isolate themselves from their peers. “When I lost my father, it was a very isolating experience,” Douglas said. “I never wanted to bring it up, so I had no idea how many other students were going through something similar.” Higher ed administrators can help grieving students by facilitating connections with their peers in similar situations.
Financial Stress
The death of a loved one can also bring financial burdens, such as funeral expenses, medical bills, or loss of financial support from parents. Students may find themselves grappling with these financial stressors on top of their grief, leading to heightened anxiety and uncertainty about their future. However, data on exactly how dire these situations become for grieving students is hard to find. Indiana University graduate and HELP contributor Malhar Pagay sought to find the number of bereaved students who dropped out due to financial stress, but discovered “the data is nearly impossible to find.” Colleges and universities are not keeping data on whether leaving is related to grief or bereavement. But if they did ask these questions, Pagay said, it would help them “make data-informed decisions about policies related to student grief and bereavement.”
Apr 29, 2024 | Family, Grief
Who Owns Our Stories?
The Fever Pitch and the Harm of True Crime
By Nora Biette-Timmons
There doesn’t appear to be one singular moment when America went true-crime crazy. In the 1990s and early 2000s, tabloids and popular magazines published what they considered salacious details of violent crimes that captured their readers’ imagination. NBC’s Dateline premiered in 1992, and has spent the last three decades reporting out crimes week after week, and remains a major success: In 2023, 125 million people watched Dateline, and it was the number one most popular TV newsmagazine program, according to Nielsen data.
The podcast boom of the last decade can in part be attributed to Americans’ existing obsession with true crime: The This American Life spinoff Serial’s first season investigated the 1999 murder of Hae-min Lee and the subsequent prosecution of her former boyfriend Adnan Syed. Its explosive popularity—it was downloaded 100 million times within a year of its release—brought renewed attention to the case, and in 2022, Syed’s murder conviction was thrown out. However, it was later reinstated in October 2023—because Lee’s brother had been unable to attend the hearing at which it was overturned.
This oversight is indicative of a larger reality. When true crime stories garner the sort of frantic, fever-pitch level of attention of Serial, the lived experiences of those actually hurt by the crime go under the radar—if they’re not outright ignored.
As Lee’s brother told a court in 2022, “This is not a podcast for me. It’s real life that will never end — it’s been 20-plus years. It’s a nightmare.”
The commercial success of true crime means that for far too many people, the worst thing that’s ever happened to them has been turned into entertainment, regardless of whether or not they and their loved ones have received justice of any sort.
For Laura Freeman, that moment came in late June 2022, when a popular TV network aired an episode focused on the case of her mother, Virginia, who had been murdered in College Station, Texas, more than 40 years previously, when Freeman was 14 and her brother, Brad, was 12. Virginia was a realtor, and volunteered at church helping immigrants whose spouses moved to town to attend Texas A&M. Laura Freeman remembers the camping trips her mother would plan; Virginia helped build a very happy, stable family.
It had taken investigators 38 years to determine who violently killed her mother. A former sheriff’s detective who worked the case appeared as an expert on the episode, telling intimate, gruesome details about the case.
A friend of her cousin told them about the show, warning Freeman’s family against watching it. Freeman told Evermore that she only watched a preview of the episode—and saw a picture of her mom’s hand wearing a ring that she now has.
“I felt frozen when I first viewed the picture of my mother’s hand,” she said.
Maintaining the dignity of victims’ stories, even without consent, is possible. An ABC News report on the discovery that led to solving Freeman’s mother’s murder exemplifies how to report crime victims’ stories responsibly. It doesn’t include unnecessary salacious details, for example, in the same fashion that many true crime platforms do, or tease the idea that Freeman’s father may have done it, a common trope in true crime storytelling.
The ABC report also recognizes that this crime had lasting effects on her loved ones, and clearly sought to include their perspective: “While it’s too painful for her children to talk about the case, her son said earlier this year that he’s grateful investigators never lost interest in his mother’s case,” the last paragraph reads.
In an interview with TIME Magazine, Mindy Pendleton said she also felt re-traumatized when she found out that another popular network documentary team was reporting on the murder of her stepson, Robert Mast. In February 2019, they asked her and her family to participate in the show. Pendleton was vehemently opposed to the idea.
“As a parent, a fellow human being, I beg you not to do this,” she wrote in an email to the documentary team, which she shared with TIME. “PLEASE don’t do this!”
Though a producer told Pendleton he’d never faced such a “moral dilemma,” the show moved forward despite her pleas, and Mast’s murder was recounted in the first episode of the second season of I Am A Killer, which premiered in April 2020. While the episode did not include input from Mast’s family, it did paint the woman who killed him “in a relatively sympathetic light,” as TIME reporter Melissa Chan put it.
I Am A Killer has gone on to have two more seasons, and a fifth is coming later this year—proving that the true crime craze has not dissipated.
Besides its exploitative focus on peoples’ most harrowing memories, true crime consumption often comes with another downside, according to Stacey Nye, a clinical professor of psychology at UW-Milwaukee: victim blaming.
Even those who “do everything right” can become victimized, Nye said in an interview with WUWM, an NPR station in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She also highlighted another problem with true crime: its over-emphasis on white women: “There’s a huge number of women of color, Indigenous women, and trans women who are targeted, and that’s talked about much less.”
No victim deserves to have their story told without their permission—or that of their loved ones. But, like any other media representation, it’s important to be aware of the inequalities that true crime narratives may perpetuate.
It may be hard to determine a comprehensive solution to the exploitative side of true crime, given just how massive the industry is now.
But at least on an individual level, true crime content producers can make amends with victims and/or their families.
The National Center for Victims of Crime has sought to create more understanding among true crime fans, too.
“We have focused on trying to encourage ‘ethical’ true crime consumption—meaning that viewers are mindful of what they are watching and hold the producers/creators accountable for being victim-centered and including victim voices,” Renee Williams, the center’s executive director, told Evermore. “We always advocate for the inclusion of victims in telling their own stories in true crime and media coverage.”
To that end, her organization has created guidelines to help people stay thoughtful as they watch true crime shows or listen to true crime podcasts. Among them are reminders for people to ensure they’re consuming content from legitimate sources and to prioritize content that elevates victims’ perspectives.
So, the next time you scroll through your phone to pick a podcast, or see promo for the latest murder documentary splashed across your TV, take a beat. Remember that, no matter how this content may be packaged—whether it has Hollywood high production values, or uses a crime story to illustrate a salient political point—it is telling a story that belongs to someone else. Real people’s pain is behind these narratives, and it is important to remember and center that.[/vc_column_text][vc_separator border_width=”3″ css_animation=”fadeInRight” css=””][vc_column_text css=””]
We welcome readers to share their experiences with true crime — positive or negative, confusing, frustrating, or supportive. If you have a story to share, email us at hello@stagingevermore.dbdodev.com.
Apr 17, 2024 | Advocacy, Federal Government
When someone close to us dies, we’re hardly in the right frame of mind to handle logistics and practical matters. Yet, often, this is the first thing we’re forced to confront.
There’s the matter of the deceased’s body and how it will be handled, but also funeral arrangements and ceremonial planning to honor the life of the person we’re grieving.
Funeral planning requires people to make multiple decisions while experiencing difficult and intense emotions. Making matters even more challenging, funeral arrangements are financially taxing.
In America, the funeral industry is essentially unavoidable after someone close to us dies. Because the funeral industry is ubiquitous and homogenous — offering the same services, same processes and procedures for after-death care — we rarely question it. But there’s a lot about the funeral industry you may not know.
Here are five facts about the funeral industry that will probably surprise you:
1. The funeral industry pulls in big dollars.
In the U.S., funeral homes are a $20 billion dollar annual industry. Most funeral homes are privately owned, and increasingly, more funeral homes are owned by large corporations.
Service Corporation International, the largest death-care corporation in the country, owns and operates more than 1,400 locations in North America and brought in more than $4 billion in revenue in 2023.
“Families are hurting. They are not only losing someone meaningful in their lives, their losses are compounded by the soaring costs in burials and cremations,” says Evermore founder Joyal Mulheron. “The funeral industry is well-funded, made only more profitable by our nation’s concurrent mortality epidemics — just look at their revenue statements.”
According to Statista, there are nearly 19,000 funeral homes in the U.S., yet there remains a surprising lack of competition in the industry. In the past several decades, larger funeral service companies, and in some cases, private equity firms, have bought up smaller, family-run businesses that were well-known and trusted in their communities.
The result has been a growing monopoly on the industry by fewer wealthy — and powerful — businesses. The industry’s consolidation was the central storyline for the 2023 hit The Burial, starring Tommy Lee Jones and Jamie Foxx and directed by Maggie Betts.
2. The funeral industry is poorly regulated.
The funeral industry is primarily regulated by the Funeral Rule. Introduced in 1984 by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), the Funeral Rule was established to prevent vulnerable families from being exploited by licensed funeral homes after the FTC found widespread deceptive practices that limited consumers’ ability to make informed decisions. Today, if funeral homes violate the Rule, they may be subject to penalties of more than $51,000 per violation.
While this seems like a strong deterrent, the FTC granted the funeral industry a “sweetheart deal” more than 25 years, according to the Wall Street Journal (WSJ). When funeral homes are found to be in violation of the Funeral Rule, they can opt to participate in the Funeral Rule Offenders Program (FROP), a training program run by the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), which is the industry’s largest trade association and lobbying group. The offending funeral homes who enroll in the program become members of the association.
Essentially, the organization that lobbies lawmakers for fewer industry regulations is the same entity responsible for “policing” and penalizing offending businesses. NFDA conceals violations from American consumers and according to some experts, “it’s essentially a hush-money business.” However, the WSJ secured a list of 538 funeral homes that violated the Funeral Rule and publicly reported them earlier this year.
3. With no price transparency requirements for the funeral industry, consumers are highly vulnerable to overpaying.
In October 2022, the FTC revealed that more than 60 percent of funeral homes have little to no pricing information on their websites. This leaves consumers in a particularly vulnerable position.
“Imagine losing your child and then having to negotiate where their body goes and how much you’ll pay for it, all within hours,” says Mulheron. “When our own daughter was terminally ill, I called several funeral homes in hopes of identifying one where she could be taken once she died. Several told me they would ‘cut me a deal’ if she died soon. One facility, more than an hour away from our home, said, ‘We charge our flat rate for children of $400.’ We need more people like this leading the industry, not private equity brokers.”
Funeral costs for a single death event are significant, especially for families who struggle to cover the ongoing costs of housing, food, and medical care. According to a 2023 NFDA survey, the average cost of a funeral with a viewing and burial is nearly $8,300. A funeral with cremation costs only about $2,000 less.
These costs don’t take into account the costs of the cemetery, monument, marker, or other miscellaneous expenses, such as flowers. According to the Funeral Alliance Association, these added expenses often increase the total cost of full funeral services by $2,000 or $3,000.
4. Plan your funeral, but don’t prepay!
Following the WSJ’s release of the 538 funeral homes that violated federal law, a second WSJ article featured several stories of individuals who tried to act responsibly by paying for their own funerals in advance of dying. In some cases, their families ended up paying twice or more than the initial contracted amount. Whether it is lost paperwork, industry consolidation, “the fine print,” or something else entirely, it’s best to plan for the funeral but not pre-pay, then share your desires widely with family and friends.
5. Rather than regulate, your hard-working tax dollars are being used to reimburse funeral expenses.
In 2020, Congress passed a bill reimbursing some families for funeral expenses and only if they lost a loved one to COVID-19 (i.e., if your loved one died from overdose, homicide, or suicide, for example, you do not qualify for reimbursement). As of today, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (or FEMA), responsible for managing taxpayer reimbursement dollars for funeral expenses, has distributed $2.8 billion to 438,000 approved applications, with an average award of $6,400.
Fortunately, the federal government is beginning to act. The FTC has initiated a regulatory process indicating it will reissue the Funeral Rule. Evermore submitted comments to the FTC and is continuing to follow along. However, this process can take years and there is no indication on when the FTC might act. There is reason to believe that the industry will sue the FTC when it does act, further delaying price transparency.
It’s time for the funeral industry to join the digital age by sharing prices online. If we, as a nation, focus on closing down children’s lemonade stands for operating without permits, we can easily protect consumers from the funeral industry’s bad actors. After all, as Benjamin Franklin said, “nothing is certain except death and taxes.”
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We welcome readers to share their experiences working with funeral homes — positive or negative, confusing, frustrating, or supportive. If you have a story to share, email us at hello@stagingevermore.dbdodev.com.
